


Destruction and Reconstruction

by TheSwordKing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brainwashing, Gen, Heavenly Reeducation, Punishment, Season 4 Episode 20 The Rapture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:24:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSwordKing/pseuds/TheSwordKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A take on what happened when Castiel was dragged back to heaven for deciding to help Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Destruction and Reconstruction

He only knew pain for the longest time. They’d hurt him when they had ripped him from Jimmy’s body and kept hurting him as he fought to get away before they got to heaven. His brothers were without compassion as he struggled to escape; they had torn at his wings and hurt him. Then when they reached heaven he was left alone, cut off from the rest of the host, only truly aware of his pain and that he had failed to help Dean.     
  


That was the worst of those first few days back in heaven. The silence was the worst of it, even the hum of the host was jarringly absent. By the end of the first day he found himself screaming, clawing at the walls of his cell to try and get some sort of contact. The worst thing for an angel was to be cut off from the host and forced to endure the painful silence of being completely and utterly alone.     
  


Time in heaven passed faster than time on earth. So, even as he spent days alone and trapped in silence, mere hours passed on earth. By the time they came to drag him before the Seraphs the only thing he truly knew for sure was his name. His name was Castiel.     
  


The Seraphs were the greatest of all of the Angels, more terrifying than the Archangels, more resolute, but completely sheltered from the sight and sin of Humanity. There were four Seraphs that dealt with Angels that had wavered from their proper place. Two of his brother dragged him before them and left him there. He could hear faint whispers of the host now and the sudden if soft song coursed through him electrically and was almost painful for him.    
  


And so his re-education began.     
  


People would expect that it was simply physical torture. It wasn’t. In fact they rarely truly hurt him in any way other than mentally. No, what they did to him was worse. He was kept away from the host, forced into silence both of his own Voice and that of the host around him. The only things he ever heard anymore were the Seraphs’ voices. They were like liquid ice and fire flowing through his Grace, the very center of his being, burning away all the doubt and the emotion and freezing what they left behind them.    
  
 _There is no Doubt,_ __

 _There is only the will of God._               
  


Jehoel, the Seraph whose voice was that of Order, poured that into him without pause or mercy. He built up the broken part of Castiel on those words, carving them into his very Being. Building the foundation upon which the others built on.

 

_You are a soldier of God,_ __

_You have no wants and needs other than His,_ __

_You are a tool of God,_ __

_You will Obey._

_  
_Kemuel, the Seraph whose voice was that of Obedience, layered those words atop the foundation Jehoel build even as it was built. He laid down layer after layer of binding knowledge that he, Castiel, existed only to be a tool of God, just as his brothers before him.

_There is no individuality,_ __

_You are one of many,_ __

_You follow the will of the Host,_ __

_The will of God,_ __

_As you were created to._

 

Saraphiel chanted that to him, her voice full of Will and the compassion of God. She smoothed the foundation Jehoel built and the layers Kemuel formed into a whole, twisting it all into a single unit of Heavenly will. Even as fire burnt, the burning one soothed it all into one nearly perfect whole.

 

_You serve Heaven,_ __

_You do not serve Man,_ __

_You are an obedient soldier of Heaven,_ __

_Its will is your will,_ __

_Obey, Castiel,_ __

_Obey and serve Heaven as you were made to._

Metatron, the greatest of all the Seraphs, spoke. His voice was like the fires of a kiln, crystallizing that which the others had formed, making it as transparent as glass but unbreakable. He made what was nearly perfectly whole and finished it. Order, Will, and Obedience were nothing without the unshakable demand that he Serve.

 

Castiel knew he had been… different before this. That he had been wrong and mistaken for doubting the will of Heaven. That he had allowed himself to be swayed from his place by a man. That somehow he had been deluded into thinking a human, of all things, was right where Heaven was wrong, that the will of God was wrong.

 

He was sent back to earth to finish his duties. He was surprised by his old vessel Jimmy’s insistence that he take him instead of his daughter. Being in an adult vessel was more convenient than a child, so he returned to Jimmy.

 

Dean Winchester was there. He seemed stunned to see Castiel again, and Castiel felt an impudent surge of anger towards the man. But it was useless; he could not destroy Michael’s vessel simply because he blamed Dean for his punishment.

 

“Cas, hold up,” Dean had said, reaching for him. “What were you going to tell me?”

 

Castiel should have simply left and ignored the question. He had orders and orders were to be obeyed. Instead he decided to stop and turn to face Dean. “I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean,” he’d said flatly. “I serve Heaven, I don’t serve Man. And I certainly don’t serve you.” Then he’d left them standing there to fulfill the will of Heaven.


End file.
